California woman Mikel Ruffinelli has set a new record for the world's largest hips at 100 inches, says the World Record Academy. Reggie Brooks, her husband of 10 years, says what first attracted him to her was her sweet disposition. Riiiiiiiiight, more like "dat position!"
A number of German soldiers are growing breasts due to gun drills which repeatedly slap one side of their chest causing the stimulation of glands and the production of hormones. Most of those affected have surgery to correct the problem, except for a few brave volunteers that is, because an all male military production of Cabaret still needs some tits.
A 33 year old man in Trinidad was found slumped in his driver's seat with a handgun in his pocket and bleeding from the groin after police say he accidentally shot off his own penis. The man remains sedated in a hospital and will likely faces charges for carrying an illegal firearm... but for now, let's let him sleep, and dream for the last time.
A Mexican man was arrested on Tuesday after killing his neighbor's three dogs and barbecuing them. When asked if ate the dogs, the man said yes, but they were a little rough.
Peter Robbins, the man who voiced Charlie Brown was arrested for stalking his ex-girlfriend and the plastic surgeon who gave her breast implants which he didn't like. When asked why he didn't like them, Robbins said, "Because every time she put those breasts out there I would go after them, and then she would pull them away at the last second."
Naked Yoga for men is reportedly the hot new craze in Edmonton, Canada. That is until their first day of class, and it's all dudes.
Annie's, Inc. is voluntarily recalling several of its varieties of frozen pizzas nationwide saying that metal fragments possibly made it into the product. Upon hearing the news at 3 o'clock in the morning and their mouth full of metal pizza, drunk people shrugged, "Ah, fuck it."
An 11-year old Spanish boy reportedly faked his own kidnapping to avoid his parents going to parent-teacher conferences. Whatever happened to the simpler days when you avoided parent-teacher conferences by telling everyone the teacher molested you?
Today marked the end of a long U.S. military tradition forbidding women from officially participating in active combat. The next step, ending the long tradition which prohibits women from spider killing.
Manti Te'o told Katie Couric in an interview that he is "far from" gay. However the audience erupted in shock when Couric brought out Te'o's invisible secret gay lover.