Action Lines Make All the Difference

Graphics and logos are very tricky.  One extra line or one fewer line can make a big difference.  For example, the McDonald's logo reminding you to throw away your trash.  Is it clear enough?  Look what happens when I add just two different action lines...

Thanks, Ronald, that's mighty nice of you!

Ronald, you drunk asshole.

I hope you've all learned a valuable lesson from this.  I know I have.

Photos of the Week

These are photos I took over the past few weeks.  Each one more or less speaks for itself, but that won't stop me from speaking more. 

This first photo is of a video game I saw at a thrift store.  As you know, I like perusing thrift stores for the wacky stuff you can uncover.  This is Vet Emergency.  Tagline: YOU ARE THE VET!

"I need 80 CCs of what I hope this
dog will think is bacon! STAT!"

I was at my grandma's for Easter and I found this carrot that looked like a pinky toe.  It even had what looked like a toe nail.  Bizarre!  And yes, I did eat it.  Duh.

SOYLENT ORANGE IS PEOPLE!

This next one was an adventure.  I was driving through a Starbucks when I saw some incredibly cool guys walk out to their car to leave.  I had seen these guys before and they always look really cool.  I can't stress enough how very painfully cool they were and -- I imagine -- still are.  I have often literally vomited with envy at how much I want to be like them.

Anyway, they backed out and that's when I got a glimpse of their license plate.  Luckily they were heading the same direction I was, so I could nab this photo.

Welcome to my world.  The world of small penises.

Finally, another license plate photo.  This one equally as cool.

Imagine, a world where seven other Vin Diesels
also live and breath and drive cars real serious.

In fact, I assume the owners of these two cars are good friends, possibly even lovers who enjoy quiet nights of passionate love-making while sipping Redbull and watching Vin Diesel movies.

Sidenote: If your license plate says "R3DBULL," does that mean there's someone out there with "REDBULL" and you needed the 3 in place of the E to make it work?  Or did you volunteer the 3?  Either way, you are frightening.

Sidenote 2: If your license plate says "VIN DSL 8," does that mean there are seven others?  Are you related to those people.  Do you own all seven cars?  If so, you must have come into that money not by smarts, but rather through some type of chance or disgusting bet.  Like winning the lottery, or finding a severed finger in your McDonald's french fries, or taking part in a research experiment where you mate with a donkey continuously for a year.

Ironic Tweet of the Week

Senator Chuck Grassley from Iowa, apparently with the help of his 13 year old intern, called President Obama stupid with this post on Twitter...

The only thing missing is an LOL.

I'm sorry, I can't understand a word you're saying as you've decided to use your 140 twitter characters as a stuttering caveman would.  Part of being not stupid is knowing how to say more with less.  Which you clearly have not mastered.  Let me help you.  With the following tweet, you could have said what you needed to say, conserved letters and still gotten across to your followers the point and tone of your original post.

See?

Conversation I Overheard Today

KID

Mom, I want to get this candy bar.

MOM

No.

KID throws a fit and knocks over the candy display.

MOM

Look what you did! Fine, here! 

MOM picks up candy bar and tosses it at the KID.

MOM

Are you happy? You got your candy bar 

and Jesus is dead! I hope your happy!

*****

Nah, that never happened, but gosh I wanted it to.  And I laughed all day thinking about it happening.  I hope that someday I'm as good a parent as this woman I just made up is.

Happy Good Friday!

In A Flash...

Saw these today at a thrift store.  Really wanted to get them, but even more, wanted nothing to do with them...

There's no man on Earth who wants a woman to look at his crotch and think, "He must be fast."  I'll pass, $1.49 bin at thrift store... I'll pass.