It looked a little something like this...
Looks legit, but it's completely fake. And a whole host of other graphics will pop up as well, pretending to scan and find viruses on your PC. It's "scareware," meant to scare you into doing things to your PC you shouldn't. For instance, downloading things which would get you a virus in the first place, Andy, you jackass.
The virus goes by a few different names, but mine came in the form of "Windows Security Center 2012." Wow, sounds so official. And it's not even 2012 yet, so my computer must be way ahead of those hackers!
That was the first tip off. Equally good cover-up names would have been "Virus Protector 2012 For Andy McDonald at (home address)," "Data Rape Guard 2013," and "ANDY CLICK HERE OR YOUR PC WILL EXPLODE!" Come on, hackers, let's get creative here.
The second tip off is located at the bottom where it says, "At Microsoft, we care about your privacy." Any person with any Windows experience whatsoever knows that is complete bullshit. Microsoft would sooner turn your baby into an affordable desktop for inner city schools than promote data security.
Not that that's a bad thing. Maybe your baby would be happier as a desktop giving back to the community. It'd be a charitable thing to do and would relax some of the criticism of your selfish, selfish baby. No one's saying it to your face, but everyone's thinking it and talking behind your back. Your baby is a selfish prick. There, I said it.
Here are some names for the babies-turned-PC project...
- InfantCPU
- Babe-E-Systems
- GagaGoogle
- Baby On Motherboard
