Here Are Even More Ninja Jokes, Proving That I Love You A Whole Lot, Internet

Yeah, ninjas!
Yeah, jokes!
Yeah, you!

There are two kinds of ninjas in this world.
The kind that's right behind you, and---

If a ninja is on a train traveling 50mph from Chicago to Denver, how long before you notice everyone on board is dead and you're all alone?

Why can't ninjas trace?
Because it's impossible for them to leave one!

How do you know when a ninja's drunk?
He'll kill both of you!

If a ninja has five apples and he gives one to Jim and one to Susie, how many apples does he have left?
Five. And two corpses.

What is a ninja's favorite book?
The one you're currently distracted by!

What is a ninja's preferred airline?

How many ninjas do you need for a band?
Oh, just one, a ninja can easily kill a whole band.

Where does a ninja take someone on a first date?
Don't you mean... A LAST DATE?!


10 More Ninja Jokes I Wrote For You, Because I Love You And Ninjas

You know you wanted them. So here they are, more ninja jokes...

What do you use to hunt a ninja?
Your life!

How will you know when you've met a ninja?
The grim reaper will tell you!

What's a ninja's favorite sport?
You and everyone you care about!

How does a ninja change a tire?
He waits for you to change yours, then your life and car are his!

How much do you pay a ninja for a job---
Aaaaaaaand your money's gone.

A ninja, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Good to see you two!"

What's a ninja's favorite vacation spot?
Whatever yours was!

How many throwing stars does a ninja have on him?
None, they're all on you!

How does a ninja celebrate your birthday?
Atop your grave!

What do you call a surprise party for a ninja?
A surprise mass funeral!


I Give You... "Sound Slieber" GIF

This GIF is taken from his deposition video from earlier this year, which is actually pretty entertaining. It's hard to know which person to hate more, since everyone seems to be maintaining a high caliber of douche.

There's a brief moment during the taping when Bieber closes his eyes, slowly glides back and forth in his chair, and sinks deep into what we can all assume is a regenerating Bieber stasis. Peaceful and hypnotizing.

Sound Slieber