8.24.2014

10 More Ninja Jokes I Wrote For You, Because I Love You And Ninjas

You know you wanted them. So here they are, more ninja jokes...

What do you use to hunt a ninja?
Your life!

How will you know when you've met a ninja?
The grim reaper will tell you!

What's a ninja's favorite sport?
You and everyone you care about!

How does a ninja change a tire?
He waits for you to change yours, then your life and car are his!

How much do you pay a ninja for a job---
Aaaaaaaand your money's gone.

A ninja, a priest, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Good to see you two!"

What's a ninja's favorite vacation spot?
Whatever yours was!

How many throwing stars does a ninja have on him?
None, they're all on you!

How does a ninja celebrate your birthday?
Atop your grave!

What do you call a surprise party for a ninja?
A surprise mass funeral!

8.03.2014

I Give You... "Sound Slieber" GIF

This GIF is taken from his deposition video from earlier this year, which is actually pretty entertaining. It's hard to know which person to hate more, since everyone seems to be maintaining a high caliber of douche.

There's a brief moment during the taping when Bieber closes his eyes, slowly glides back and forth in his chair, and sinks deep into what we can all assume is a regenerating Bieber stasis. Peaceful and hypnotizing.

Sound Slieber

6.13.2014

11 Ninja Jokes

I wrote these jokes about ninjas.  Enjoy.


If a ninja kills in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
No, it makes a corpse!

How does a ninja deal with depression?
He covers his blade with smiley faces!

How does a ninja deal with fear?
He gives it to others!

What's a ninjas favorite soda?
SLICE!

How do you wake a ninja?
You don't! It's a decoy! Your throat's cut!

How do you get a ninja drunk?
Become a ninja and get drunk!

How does a ninja pick up women?
It's easy once they're lifeless!

What is a ninja's favorite sound?
Does tempered steel on Adam's apple count?!

If you could be any type of ninja, what type would you—
Too late! You've been killed by a real ninja!

Do ninjas believe in God?
The more important question is, DO YOU???

How do you give a ninja directions?
Don't worry, he'll find you!